On my Facebook page I say something like, "Tryin' to live decidedly simple in a complex world." Isn't that concept getting harder and harder? I just watched an episode of 60 Minutes that featured the Dallas Cowboys' owner/manager, Jimmy Jones. I learned that his dad was an Arkansas small-town grocery store owner. Jimmy, as a young boy, used to stand outside the tiny store wearing a little bow tie and welcome the store guests. Those memories drove him to climb up the ladder of success and never turn back.
It's not that he didn't look back. In fact, he rode on his 50 million dollar jet back to that grocery store to show the film crew and get good footage. The new big screen tv in his new stadium is the biggest in WORLD. It is 45 million dollars in cost and weighs something like 600 tons. It stetches from one 20 yard line to the other 20 yard line. And sadly, at the end of the show, Jimmy was quoted as saying that although he is worth 2 BILLION dollars, he is terrified that he doesn't have a specified degree to fall back on, should things go wrong with the Cowboys. He is scared to death of failure and of having nothing.
Now, let's bring this all the way down to little ol' me. My family has decided to down-size, cut back, and live so that we can give more away, have more wiggle room, and be less tied to our "stuff." So recently we have taken advantage of Craigs List. We have sold several pieces of furniture like our tread mill, two office chairs, a set of bunk beds and a bookcase. We hope to sell more items in the near future. Am I sad to see these things go? No, not all. I don't need them, and I haven't missed them at all. In fact, it is liberating to see the total amount of "stuff" diminish.
I guess since I've returned from Africa my mindset has altered. I look at things with a different perspective. I know there are some things that fall into the "must have" catagory. These would be things like shoes, clothes, bed, table, etc. Even then, I know I can pair that list down more. However, it is not my intent to purge my house of all things that I know and love. Rather, it is to pair down the list of the things that I love. Do we love our stuff? I suppose if we don't use that word we would replace it with "like" or "cherish." Which, brings me to my next thought.
Why do I cherish or really like the things that I do? Do they have sentimental value? Have I had them forever? Do they represent a mile stone in my life? Do they hold monetary value? Am I afraid of what I will look like or become without it?
Have I noticed any difference since shutting off cable tv? Yes! My family spends more time together and my children don't watch kids on tv smart off to their parents and then turn and try it on me. And, I saved money! Do my kids have ways to watch movies and tv shows? Yes! We frequent the library and watch streaming tv on the computer upon occasion.
Are there benefits to having children sharing rooms? Yes! They realize that the majority of the world functions on the concept of togetherness. There is a time and a place for aloneness, but most of the time, we have to learn to get along and get along well with others. College will not be single room suites decked out with the latest gadgets. Why not get an early start on that? Besides, I don't want my teens locking themselves in their rooms and secluding themselves from the family. I want us to experience life together, both the highs and the lows.
So as I continue to let go my of stuff and loosen my hold on my what I think is necessary, I want to gradually live more simply. Less stuff, more love. Less to clean, more time to share. Fewer things to pay for, more money to give to those who can't eat or have no heat in the winter. Smaller home, more savings for the future of our family. After all, everything I really need I already have. Jesus came to earth as a baby in the manger and is coming back again for me some day. I'm ready, and that is all I really need.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Author on Parenting Multiple Kids
At one month into the summer, my children are tired of each other. They want me to divide and conquer. Take one child at a time to the store, to put gas in the car, to run to the post office. They simply don't want to be together all the time. Keep in mind, I have four children, three cats, a dog, a husband and several fish. So...there are a lot of breathing bodies to contend with. However, I have been pondering this problem area of togetherness, and here are some thoughts I've come up with:
First, when I grew up, I had one indoor cat and one indoor brother. I loved the cat and tolerated the brother. However, he and I were not cooped up together day after day after day, especially in the summer. When we had time off from school, we hit the neighborhood. He hung out with his friends, and I played with mine. Once in a while all the neighborhood kids would converge at our house, but the general local alternated from day to day. We weren't tied to cell phones. Instead, we wore watches and knew the time that Mom wanted us home for dinner. Some days I'd see my brother at the dinner table and catch some t.v. with him in the evening, but the rest of the day our paths did not cross.
Not so with the kiddos of today in suburbia. Our children have the same square footage to play in each day of their lives. For them to "go outside and play," they open the back door and walk out to our large yard, fenced in on all sides by a 6 foot privacy fence. My children can't even see their neighbors, much less play with any of them. The front yard isn't really an option, especially for the younger kids, as the street can be quiet busy and very few children on our street play in front. We don't even have a basketball hoop on our driveway because it slants too much and the balls would forever be rolling into the street. Thus, our children play with each other in the same space all summer long.
Is it any wonder, then, that they are tired of each other? So what are my options to improve this situation? I could schedule outings for each child with his/her friends. This is true, except that requires me to drive all over God's green earth (literally all over the metro) to the various homes of these said friends. My children do not attend the local neighborhood public school, so all of them have friends spread out over about a forty-five minute drive in all directions from our home. To take and then pick up a child from a friend's home hogs up my entire day, and I simply don't have that time to commit to a play date.
Another option would be that of scheduled family outings. We are trying to do more of that. We take in a dollar movie or a round of bowling. We go on family bike rides and play lots of games. But essentially, the children are still "stuck" with each other. And right now, they see nothing positive about that! Maybe some day they will turn out to be great friends, and that is what I'm praying for, but in the meantime, they are already asking about when school is going to start.
It is a good thing most of them have some intermitten camps, retreats, and outings to look forward to for the next several weeks until they go back to school. My children have always done much better on a routine, so getting back to school will be good for them in many ways, not the least of which is there ability to be away from each other for a good portion of each day.
If you have any other ideas on this subject, please shoot them my way. I need ideas that don't cost money and take up tons of time. Any sanity measures would be most helpful!
First, when I grew up, I had one indoor cat and one indoor brother. I loved the cat and tolerated the brother. However, he and I were not cooped up together day after day after day, especially in the summer. When we had time off from school, we hit the neighborhood. He hung out with his friends, and I played with mine. Once in a while all the neighborhood kids would converge at our house, but the general local alternated from day to day. We weren't tied to cell phones. Instead, we wore watches and knew the time that Mom wanted us home for dinner. Some days I'd see my brother at the dinner table and catch some t.v. with him in the evening, but the rest of the day our paths did not cross.
Not so with the kiddos of today in suburbia. Our children have the same square footage to play in each day of their lives. For them to "go outside and play," they open the back door and walk out to our large yard, fenced in on all sides by a 6 foot privacy fence. My children can't even see their neighbors, much less play with any of them. The front yard isn't really an option, especially for the younger kids, as the street can be quiet busy and very few children on our street play in front. We don't even have a basketball hoop on our driveway because it slants too much and the balls would forever be rolling into the street. Thus, our children play with each other in the same space all summer long.
Is it any wonder, then, that they are tired of each other? So what are my options to improve this situation? I could schedule outings for each child with his/her friends. This is true, except that requires me to drive all over God's green earth (literally all over the metro) to the various homes of these said friends. My children do not attend the local neighborhood public school, so all of them have friends spread out over about a forty-five minute drive in all directions from our home. To take and then pick up a child from a friend's home hogs up my entire day, and I simply don't have that time to commit to a play date.
Another option would be that of scheduled family outings. We are trying to do more of that. We take in a dollar movie or a round of bowling. We go on family bike rides and play lots of games. But essentially, the children are still "stuck" with each other. And right now, they see nothing positive about that! Maybe some day they will turn out to be great friends, and that is what I'm praying for, but in the meantime, they are already asking about when school is going to start.
It is a good thing most of them have some intermitten camps, retreats, and outings to look forward to for the next several weeks until they go back to school. My children have always done much better on a routine, so getting back to school will be good for them in many ways, not the least of which is there ability to be away from each other for a good portion of each day.
If you have any other ideas on this subject, please shoot them my way. I need ideas that don't cost money and take up tons of time. Any sanity measures would be most helpful!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Author Returns from Africa
So my pastor tells me that no one wants to read a blog that is not constantly kept up to date. I understand that sentiment. However, many people don't really read blogs anyway. They usually peruse them for tidbits of meaty details and then call it good. I created this blog to vent, ponder, undate, and simply exercise my ability to write whenever I want to. Unfortunately, I want to write much more often than I really get to write, so for that reason, I will continue to update this blog as time permits. You can peruse it, read it or trash it if you like. This time, however, will be one you won't want to miss!
Africa, Oh, Africa. Well, that's the title of a book, but also a great thought. I just spent two wonderful weeks with my husband, Mike, and 29 other friends in Swaziland, Africa. This trip was more than just a missions trip. It was the culmination of the study of the history of my family. You see, my grandparents were missionaries to Enzingeni, Swaziland from 1947-1951. My father and two of my uncles were born there. I've been raised to revere the land of the first Nazarene Africa missionaries, Harmon and Lula Schmelzenbach. I've heard stories, seen photos and even written a book about my grandparents' time in Swaziland. Even though they were only able to serve in Africa for five years, those tender years entirely shaped the next generations of our family. Five years. Lots can happen in that time on foreign soil.
So...my journey to the other side of the world was a quest to match a physical place and its people with the concepts and dreams that I've carried in my head and heart for so long. When two worlds like this collide, it can either be disappointing or it can be exhilariting. For me, it was the latter. First, the Lord put to rest my misconceptions of the typical African countryside. While much of Africa is bare and desolate, Swaziland in its winter is bountiful, green, lush, mountainous and gorgeous. It is actually termed the Savannah, and it is breathtaking. It is not hot. Rather, during their winter, the temps drop into the 40's and raise into the 70's. The Swazi's hate the "cold," but it felt great to me. A light jacket was all I needed.
Next, the people of Swaziland are happy and content. They have much to ponder, wonder, and wish for. They have needs that will probably never be met this side of Heaven. They have hardships that we in America cannot fathom. Most will die young (by the age of 37) and many will hold their dying loved ones in their arms, one after another. Aids is stealing away the health and youth of the nation. Yet, the Swazi's are kind. They are gentle. They are quiet and peace loving people. They don't speak loudly. In fact, one has to move in close to catch what they are saying. They have huge hearts that beat for each other, which, in many ways, is all they really have in this world. They are not distracted with materialism and its associated petty problems. They live for the day and for the hope of a brighter future.
Swazi's love having their pictures taken and looking at them on the back of the digital camera. They like to play games and their youth would rather be playing than studying, just like those in America. In the area of worship, they trump us all. During a worship service, there is no such thing as transitional down time. In such a moment, someone, anyone, from the congregation breaks out into a song and within a couple of notes, everyone joins in. No matter the age, hands raise in worship of our God. The same song might be sung four times in the course of the 2+ hour service, but that doesn't matter. It's all about glorifying God. They love the traditional hymns of the church and Sunday is the day they await all week. Their shoes are shined. Many walk up to 5 miles to get to the church. They love to sing and hear their own voices. Instruments are not really needed. There are no guitars. A keyboard is used upon occasion, but usually the player has to find the key the song is being sung in and then try to join in.
The students of Swaziland work very hard to learn English, speak it fluenty and pass tests all in English. There is much pressure on the students to pass the final test each year in order to move on to the next grade level. There is no free public schooling in Swaziland. All schools are private and cost a hefty tuition for the students. The fees go toward the uniform (all schools have one) and the materials cost. The country is trying to move to free education for the lowest grades, but this is not going to be a smooth transition. When 7th grade is completed, the students move to Forms 1-5 (our grades 8-12). Again, there is a hefty cost involved. If the high school graduate desires to continue his education, he can move on to the University of Swaziland. Few have the money for this, although many have the aspiration and desire.
Swazi's are not afraid to ask for help. They acknowledge that without the aid of missions teams and funding from other sources, they would not be able to accomplish some of what they have. They have the belief that all white Americans are rich. And, really, compared to their life situation, we all are rich. However, they do not understand that we don't have money to pay for the needs of the individuals and schools in Swaziland. Yet, they don't let this issue of status and monetary difference come between them and the visitors from America. I met and worked with a wonderful lady at the school in Endzingeni, and I hope to be friends with her for many years to come. I fully expect to see her in Swaziland again someday, the Lord willing.
And so, we were touched by so many lives in Africa. It was an eye opening experience, one that I will treasure. In some ways I can't believe I've been to Africa and back. Both Mike and I believe we left a part of our hearts there. We returned to America to our family and then immediately began to face the difficulties that we knew would arise in the daily grind of life. However, we are praying that God will continually remind us of our friends in Africa and His goodness to sustain us all as we live each day to serve the Lord wherever He has us from one moment to the next.
Africa, Oh, Africa. Well, that's the title of a book, but also a great thought. I just spent two wonderful weeks with my husband, Mike, and 29 other friends in Swaziland, Africa. This trip was more than just a missions trip. It was the culmination of the study of the history of my family. You see, my grandparents were missionaries to Enzingeni, Swaziland from 1947-1951. My father and two of my uncles were born there. I've been raised to revere the land of the first Nazarene Africa missionaries, Harmon and Lula Schmelzenbach. I've heard stories, seen photos and even written a book about my grandparents' time in Swaziland. Even though they were only able to serve in Africa for five years, those tender years entirely shaped the next generations of our family. Five years. Lots can happen in that time on foreign soil.
So...my journey to the other side of the world was a quest to match a physical place and its people with the concepts and dreams that I've carried in my head and heart for so long. When two worlds like this collide, it can either be disappointing or it can be exhilariting. For me, it was the latter. First, the Lord put to rest my misconceptions of the typical African countryside. While much of Africa is bare and desolate, Swaziland in its winter is bountiful, green, lush, mountainous and gorgeous. It is actually termed the Savannah, and it is breathtaking. It is not hot. Rather, during their winter, the temps drop into the 40's and raise into the 70's. The Swazi's hate the "cold," but it felt great to me. A light jacket was all I needed.
Next, the people of Swaziland are happy and content. They have much to ponder, wonder, and wish for. They have needs that will probably never be met this side of Heaven. They have hardships that we in America cannot fathom. Most will die young (by the age of 37) and many will hold their dying loved ones in their arms, one after another. Aids is stealing away the health and youth of the nation. Yet, the Swazi's are kind. They are gentle. They are quiet and peace loving people. They don't speak loudly. In fact, one has to move in close to catch what they are saying. They have huge hearts that beat for each other, which, in many ways, is all they really have in this world. They are not distracted with materialism and its associated petty problems. They live for the day and for the hope of a brighter future.
Swazi's love having their pictures taken and looking at them on the back of the digital camera. They like to play games and their youth would rather be playing than studying, just like those in America. In the area of worship, they trump us all. During a worship service, there is no such thing as transitional down time. In such a moment, someone, anyone, from the congregation breaks out into a song and within a couple of notes, everyone joins in. No matter the age, hands raise in worship of our God. The same song might be sung four times in the course of the 2+ hour service, but that doesn't matter. It's all about glorifying God. They love the traditional hymns of the church and Sunday is the day they await all week. Their shoes are shined. Many walk up to 5 miles to get to the church. They love to sing and hear their own voices. Instruments are not really needed. There are no guitars. A keyboard is used upon occasion, but usually the player has to find the key the song is being sung in and then try to join in.
The students of Swaziland work very hard to learn English, speak it fluenty and pass tests all in English. There is much pressure on the students to pass the final test each year in order to move on to the next grade level. There is no free public schooling in Swaziland. All schools are private and cost a hefty tuition for the students. The fees go toward the uniform (all schools have one) and the materials cost. The country is trying to move to free education for the lowest grades, but this is not going to be a smooth transition. When 7th grade is completed, the students move to Forms 1-5 (our grades 8-12). Again, there is a hefty cost involved. If the high school graduate desires to continue his education, he can move on to the University of Swaziland. Few have the money for this, although many have the aspiration and desire.
Swazi's are not afraid to ask for help. They acknowledge that without the aid of missions teams and funding from other sources, they would not be able to accomplish some of what they have. They have the belief that all white Americans are rich. And, really, compared to their life situation, we all are rich. However, they do not understand that we don't have money to pay for the needs of the individuals and schools in Swaziland. Yet, they don't let this issue of status and monetary difference come between them and the visitors from America. I met and worked with a wonderful lady at the school in Endzingeni, and I hope to be friends with her for many years to come. I fully expect to see her in Swaziland again someday, the Lord willing.
And so, we were touched by so many lives in Africa. It was an eye opening experience, one that I will treasure. In some ways I can't believe I've been to Africa and back. Both Mike and I believe we left a part of our hearts there. We returned to America to our family and then immediately began to face the difficulties that we knew would arise in the daily grind of life. However, we are praying that God will continually remind us of our friends in Africa and His goodness to sustain us all as we live each day to serve the Lord wherever He has us from one moment to the next.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Author on a Mission
In just about seven weeks I will join 30 other Kansans and travel to Swaziland, Africa on my first-ever missions trip. I suppose I could have gotten my feet wet in the pool of such trips by taking one to St. Louis, Chicago, maybe Canada or even Mexico. However, I never felt the hand of the Lord on me to go on a missions trip before. There were always things preventing me from going, most them being my role as a parent and the many needs of my family. But about a year ago, God started working in my heart and tugging me in the direction of Africa.
I have spent a great deal of time over this past year writing my second book about none other than Swaziland, Africa, the birth place of my father. My grandparents were Nazarene missionaries in Swaziland and other parts of South Africa from 1947-1951. The book is written from letters that were sent from my grandmother while in Africa back home to her mother in Oklahoma City. Now, I find myself a mere 63 years later, having outlived my grandparents, yet returning to the very mission where they served.
My husband and I have been attending prep classes for this missions trip each Sunday night for the past 6 weeks. We will continue to do so until we leave for the trip. At these classes we have learned about the country of Swaziland, the people, customs, and needs. We have learned that 42% of all Swazis are HIV/AIDS positive. The average lifespan is now only 36 years of age. Swaziland has the highest HIV/AIDS percentage in the entire world! Oh, how my grandparents would be grieved to hear such news.
However, all is not lost and dark in this wonderful Swaziland. The church of the Nazarene is pressing forward, in conjunction with the King and the Prime Minister, to educate, feed, and restore both spiritual and physical health to the people. And so, our 10 day trip will be a combination of each of those things.
My group will take on a 4-part ministry. First, the construction crew will be building a home for the nurses who work at the Endzingeni Mission. This home will be in memory of my late friend, Diane Garrison who was a volunteer missionary in Africa for several years and who went home to be with Jesus three years ago. Next, a group of education students from MidAmerica Nazarene University, along with two professors and Mike and I will be spending the days in the schools on the mission. We will be setting up a library for the elementary students, teaching lessons on literacy, and showing them how to use technology in the classrooms, as they have recently gotten a new computer lab and don't know how to use the computers. In addition, a group of ladies (myself included) will be doing a ministry with the ladies of Swaziland. This country is a very matriarchal society, and the ladies need much encouragement. Finally, all of the team will be working with local families who have the HIV/AIDS virus. We will be delivering bags of food rations that will last each home for a month and sharing the love of Jesus with those that are physically dying, but alive in Christ.
Truly, as I type all of that, the work sounds daunting and the needs seem endless. However, I am convinced that each moment I spend in Swaziland with the people will be multiplied by the Holy Spirit and used to help many in the years to come. The library we will establish will be the first ever built (as rudimentary as it will be) on that mission! The students will learn to use computers (no internet) and pass along that information to all the students coming through the system thereafter! The home for the nurses will stand for generations. We will share smiles, hugs, and laughter with God's people on the other side of the world. Our work will not be in vain.
If you ask yourself why you are so blessed while others are suffering, you are asking the wrong question. Instead, ask yourself what you are doing to help those who are suffering. The poor and weak you will always have with you, the scriptures say. If you are asking yourself if you should sell everything you have and give to the poor, you are asking the wrong question. Instead, you should ask yourself if God really does own everything you have, would you be willing to lay down your cross, or your possessions for that matter, to serve the Lord and His calling? (Neat thoughts, huh? We learned these from our leader in our prep classes for the trip.)
I find myself unable to sleep tonight as I ponder this upcoming trip. Will I be healthy? Will I get a migraine? Will I be able to stand the 18 hour flight? Will I encounter so much pain and hurt that I am overwhelmed? Will I be moved too far from my comfort zone? Will I miss my children at home too much? Will they be okay while I'm gone? And the list goes on...However, God is reminding me that this trip is not designed to be a vacation. If anything of this sort should happen, it will help me further understand the price that our missionaries regularly pay to worship the Lord on foreign soil.
I am going on this trip because the Lord called me to it. He has not promised sunny, healthy days without lost luggage or cramped quarters. But He has called me, He has provided every penny for me to go, and He will sustain me in every way for this trip. It is His trip, and I am privileged to be a missionary in His service to Swaziland, Africa. Would you pray with me that this trip will be used mightily to help God's people, spread the Love of Christ, and that my life will never be the same after having gone? What a trip it will be!
I have spent a great deal of time over this past year writing my second book about none other than Swaziland, Africa, the birth place of my father. My grandparents were Nazarene missionaries in Swaziland and other parts of South Africa from 1947-1951. The book is written from letters that were sent from my grandmother while in Africa back home to her mother in Oklahoma City. Now, I find myself a mere 63 years later, having outlived my grandparents, yet returning to the very mission where they served.
My husband and I have been attending prep classes for this missions trip each Sunday night for the past 6 weeks. We will continue to do so until we leave for the trip. At these classes we have learned about the country of Swaziland, the people, customs, and needs. We have learned that 42% of all Swazis are HIV/AIDS positive. The average lifespan is now only 36 years of age. Swaziland has the highest HIV/AIDS percentage in the entire world! Oh, how my grandparents would be grieved to hear such news.
However, all is not lost and dark in this wonderful Swaziland. The church of the Nazarene is pressing forward, in conjunction with the King and the Prime Minister, to educate, feed, and restore both spiritual and physical health to the people. And so, our 10 day trip will be a combination of each of those things.
My group will take on a 4-part ministry. First, the construction crew will be building a home for the nurses who work at the Endzingeni Mission. This home will be in memory of my late friend, Diane Garrison who was a volunteer missionary in Africa for several years and who went home to be with Jesus three years ago. Next, a group of education students from MidAmerica Nazarene University, along with two professors and Mike and I will be spending the days in the schools on the mission. We will be setting up a library for the elementary students, teaching lessons on literacy, and showing them how to use technology in the classrooms, as they have recently gotten a new computer lab and don't know how to use the computers. In addition, a group of ladies (myself included) will be doing a ministry with the ladies of Swaziland. This country is a very matriarchal society, and the ladies need much encouragement. Finally, all of the team will be working with local families who have the HIV/AIDS virus. We will be delivering bags of food rations that will last each home for a month and sharing the love of Jesus with those that are physically dying, but alive in Christ.
Truly, as I type all of that, the work sounds daunting and the needs seem endless. However, I am convinced that each moment I spend in Swaziland with the people will be multiplied by the Holy Spirit and used to help many in the years to come. The library we will establish will be the first ever built (as rudimentary as it will be) on that mission! The students will learn to use computers (no internet) and pass along that information to all the students coming through the system thereafter! The home for the nurses will stand for generations. We will share smiles, hugs, and laughter with God's people on the other side of the world. Our work will not be in vain.
If you ask yourself why you are so blessed while others are suffering, you are asking the wrong question. Instead, ask yourself what you are doing to help those who are suffering. The poor and weak you will always have with you, the scriptures say. If you are asking yourself if you should sell everything you have and give to the poor, you are asking the wrong question. Instead, you should ask yourself if God really does own everything you have, would you be willing to lay down your cross, or your possessions for that matter, to serve the Lord and His calling? (Neat thoughts, huh? We learned these from our leader in our prep classes for the trip.)
I find myself unable to sleep tonight as I ponder this upcoming trip. Will I be healthy? Will I get a migraine? Will I be able to stand the 18 hour flight? Will I encounter so much pain and hurt that I am overwhelmed? Will I be moved too far from my comfort zone? Will I miss my children at home too much? Will they be okay while I'm gone? And the list goes on...However, God is reminding me that this trip is not designed to be a vacation. If anything of this sort should happen, it will help me further understand the price that our missionaries regularly pay to worship the Lord on foreign soil.
I am going on this trip because the Lord called me to it. He has not promised sunny, healthy days without lost luggage or cramped quarters. But He has called me, He has provided every penny for me to go, and He will sustain me in every way for this trip. It is His trip, and I am privileged to be a missionary in His service to Swaziland, Africa. Would you pray with me that this trip will be used mightily to help God's people, spread the Love of Christ, and that my life will never be the same after having gone? What a trip it will be!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
This Author Is Published!
Reflections on the process of being a published author:
1. The process takes a very long time. It is an exercise in patience. However, it is worth every minute, hour, month, year. I signed my contract with Tate Publishing in April of 2009. My book hit the publication process in September. It is available for purchase as of today, March 16, 2010. The official release date is set for June 15, 2010. One good thing about the lengthy process, I knew the whole thing up front. There were no surprises.
2. Each step of the publication process was handled professionally and with ease. I was quickly assigned a staff person who worked with me via e-mail to dot every "I" and cross every "T" both literally and figuratively. I had open access to a warm bodied person to ask questions of and bounce ideas off of. I never felt like I was thrown in the deep end without a floatie. I was always assisted with any of my needs.
3. Writing my first book was easier for me than actually getting it published. The hardest part of publishing was finding the right publisher. In the end, I turned down 3 self-publish offers and one other traditional publishing offer before settling on Tate Publishing out of Mustang, OK. In the process of seeking a publisher, I wrote a very nice professional book proposal. The proposal took me a long time, as I wanted to be sure I got every detail correct. I'm not sure if the proposal tipped the scales in my favor or not, but I would suggest writing one for a first-time author. Every little thing helps.
4. I could have saved money (and lots of it) up front if I had chosen to go with a self-publishing company. However, in the end, my book would only have been available for purchase on-line. It would not have been carried in local and area book stores. I would not have had any support in marketing my book, and I would not have had all the fabulous aid in layout, design, proof stages, etc. The book would have been a fast effort that saved time and money, but in the end, it would have cheapened the book. Besides, if my book sells well enough, I'll get my investment back, along with the royalties I make. I am confident I made the right choice, as I've felt God's hand on the process all the way along.
5. Holding a copy of my first book is something akin to holding a newborn child. It took months to nurture and develop those thoughts and put them together in a book. The words were born of my heart, soul, and mind. They were planted there by the Lord, and He expected me to use them to further His kingdom. I don't value the book for the sake of the book. After all, in a few weeks it will be just another thing on the shelf. I value the book for the journey it signifies. It encompasses the story of God's redeeming power in my life. The words weave the story of my divorce and recovery, my marriage and new life with Mike, my wonderful second husband. I also value the book because it signifies a huge leap of faith for me. In pursuing the book, I stepped out of my comfort zone and did something that I did not know I was capable of doing. In the middle of the night I heard God say, "It's time to move on." In a nutshell, I quit my ten-year teaching career and headed for unknown territory. The book I now hold in my hands is just one more example of God's faithfulness.
6. Through it all, I have continually prayed that my book would be a blessing to others who are faced with the same trial of divorce that I have lived through. I want to be a vessel that God can use to shed some light on someone else's journey. No two accounts of divorce are identical, but one thing is the same. Rejection is the pits, but God is always greater than the sin in our world. I want first book to glorify God and bring praise to Him for all that He has done in my life. If no one else reads the book, and it proves to have been only a theraputic process of healing for me, then it would still be worth every cent, second, and bit of energy. I would do it all over again.
If you have ever wondered about pursuing a dream that seems just out of your reach, ask God if it is from Him. Don't be afraid to "move on." Forgetting the past, pressing on to take hold of the future. See, God IS doing a new thing!
1. The process takes a very long time. It is an exercise in patience. However, it is worth every minute, hour, month, year. I signed my contract with Tate Publishing in April of 2009. My book hit the publication process in September. It is available for purchase as of today, March 16, 2010. The official release date is set for June 15, 2010. One good thing about the lengthy process, I knew the whole thing up front. There were no surprises.
2. Each step of the publication process was handled professionally and with ease. I was quickly assigned a staff person who worked with me via e-mail to dot every "I" and cross every "T" both literally and figuratively. I had open access to a warm bodied person to ask questions of and bounce ideas off of. I never felt like I was thrown in the deep end without a floatie. I was always assisted with any of my needs.
3. Writing my first book was easier for me than actually getting it published. The hardest part of publishing was finding the right publisher. In the end, I turned down 3 self-publish offers and one other traditional publishing offer before settling on Tate Publishing out of Mustang, OK. In the process of seeking a publisher, I wrote a very nice professional book proposal. The proposal took me a long time, as I wanted to be sure I got every detail correct. I'm not sure if the proposal tipped the scales in my favor or not, but I would suggest writing one for a first-time author. Every little thing helps.
4. I could have saved money (and lots of it) up front if I had chosen to go with a self-publishing company. However, in the end, my book would only have been available for purchase on-line. It would not have been carried in local and area book stores. I would not have had any support in marketing my book, and I would not have had all the fabulous aid in layout, design, proof stages, etc. The book would have been a fast effort that saved time and money, but in the end, it would have cheapened the book. Besides, if my book sells well enough, I'll get my investment back, along with the royalties I make. I am confident I made the right choice, as I've felt God's hand on the process all the way along.
5. Holding a copy of my first book is something akin to holding a newborn child. It took months to nurture and develop those thoughts and put them together in a book. The words were born of my heart, soul, and mind. They were planted there by the Lord, and He expected me to use them to further His kingdom. I don't value the book for the sake of the book. After all, in a few weeks it will be just another thing on the shelf. I value the book for the journey it signifies. It encompasses the story of God's redeeming power in my life. The words weave the story of my divorce and recovery, my marriage and new life with Mike, my wonderful second husband. I also value the book because it signifies a huge leap of faith for me. In pursuing the book, I stepped out of my comfort zone and did something that I did not know I was capable of doing. In the middle of the night I heard God say, "It's time to move on." In a nutshell, I quit my ten-year teaching career and headed for unknown territory. The book I now hold in my hands is just one more example of God's faithfulness.
6. Through it all, I have continually prayed that my book would be a blessing to others who are faced with the same trial of divorce that I have lived through. I want to be a vessel that God can use to shed some light on someone else's journey. No two accounts of divorce are identical, but one thing is the same. Rejection is the pits, but God is always greater than the sin in our world. I want first book to glorify God and bring praise to Him for all that He has done in my life. If no one else reads the book, and it proves to have been only a theraputic process of healing for me, then it would still be worth every cent, second, and bit of energy. I would do it all over again.
If you have ever wondered about pursuing a dream that seems just out of your reach, ask God if it is from Him. Don't be afraid to "move on." Forgetting the past, pressing on to take hold of the future. See, God IS doing a new thing!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Tween Parent Texts
As a parent I have tried to keep up with the trends, strategies, and techniques of parenting four children. When I reflect on the years that my children were infants, toddlers, preschoolers, and even lower elementary ages, I can honestly say that I've done a pretty good job. I don't feel that I've emotionally scarred them for life. I fostered a safe and healthy environment for them to grow in, and I believe they all have been happy and reasonably content people.
That was before they hit the tweens. This is a relatively new term used now for children ages apx 8-12. This is the term now given for children who fall between childhood and adolescence--not quite children, but not yet teenagers. Wait a minute...when I was eight years old I was child. I pulled on my roller skates (the metal kind that fit over my shoes) and hit the driveway and the entire block of my neighborhood. When I was ten, I played jacks at recess and even managed to blow up a light socket in my classroom by gingerly dangling a metal staple in it and throwing a bouncy ball at it. (I think my teacher forgave me...after I moved on to sixth grade.) And by the time I was twelve, no one could convince me that I wasn't already a teen, except that I hadn't reached the blessed age of teen-dome (thirteen).
Now, as a parent, I have three tween daughters. Lord help me! Here is a snippet of what I read about them:
Tweens now suffer from eating disorders, are exposed to intense peer pressure, want to go places on their own, keep up with fashion and watch videos rated for older children, just as teenagers do...They have been targeted by the advertising and marketing industry as a new and distinct group to exploit, and with huge success...We give them more freedom to demand and consume material things but considerably less freedom than many of us experienced to play and explore the wider world. They are the immobile, mobile phone generation, speaking to or texting their freinds rather than going out to play or visit: they let their fingers (or thumbs) do both the walking and the talking as they key in their conversations via mobile phone and computers from the safety of their homes. We ask for more responsibility from our tween for doing well at school, but by and large, less domestic and personal responsibility at home....The "traditional" boundaries of childhood seem to be withering away. We should not be surprised, then, if our tweens do not know quite where to pitch themselves in terms of image or age, or simply how to be: whether to feel confident about what they can do, or uncertain because they are increasingly made aware of what or who they are not, or what they do not have. (as taken from the book Talking to Tweens by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer)
This author-parent is scared by that! Even more scarey is that this is happening in my own home. In the past, I have made every attempt to read good books that are on the market to help guide me in many areas of my life, not the least of which is parenting. I have relied heavily on the expertise of people like Barbara and Dennis Rainey, Dr. James Dobson, and Kevin Leman. However, with the coming of the tween era, not one of that elite group raised their own children in this techno-tween age. Sure, many of the day-to-day issues of parenting are the same as they have been for generations. How much should I make my child eat at dinner? Must I force him to eat broccoli? How do I get my child to make his bed? Should I use incentives and rewards (bribery, as some call it) or should I only expect my child to obey and then follow through with loving discipline if he chooses not to? And on and on the list goes.
However, the real issues that tweens are facing raise the stakes. Parents of tweens must not only contend with all of the aforesaid "traditional" parenting issues, but then add a whole other dimension to the mix. For starters, how do we parents effectively communicate with our tweens? Notice I did not use the word "talk." Do we talk to them? Do they talk to each other? Just two years ago my oldest was elated to get her first cell phone. I thought she'd use it to talk to her friends. Truthfully, that is a rare occurrence. More often than not, she uses it to listen to music, play games, take pictures and text.
I have long contended that texting is at the heart of the breakdown in communication with our current tweens and society at large. However, in reality it has been a slippery slope. Telephones, fax machines, e-mail, cell phones, texting, instant messages, blogging, twittering (still haven't figured that one out), and the list will surely get longer by tomorrow... Each one of these has been just another step away from serious face-to-face communication. The kind where body language and facial expression mattered more than the actual words used in a conversation. All the texting and e-mails are great for one thing, hiding the reality of a person's needs. These new ways to "talk" only drive us further and further away from truly sharing life with each other. Instead, we get a sound bite (usually no more than one sentence) and consider that good enough to last our relationship for a few more days.
So how does this factor into parenting? Well this week I caved. I bought a Blackberry Bold 3G. I added texting to our family plan. I can now officially communicate with my tweens, no matter where they are or what they are doing. I really believe I held out as long as I could. I don't like the choice I made this week, but as a parent whose children live in and must function in this current society, I need to be able to "talk" to my children, no matter the medium used. I will hold the line, though. We will still sit down at our dinner table every night together. No one will answer phones or texts during our meal. The tv will not be on. We will still meet in my bedroom every night for prayer and sharing time. I will still travel to four beds to tuck in each tween and their little brother and give each a kiss and tell each that I think they are wonderful. I will still make lunches, go on field trips, attend games and concerts, and work my fool head off to make enough money to send them on all the "character building" camps, trips, and retreats that I would like for them to enjoy.
Most of all, I will be here for them. I will hug them, love on them, cry with them, laugh with them, and walk each step of their journey with them. Undoubtedly I will call them, text them, IM them, twitter them (what is that, exactly?) and pray for them. I will share life with them all the way to the pearly gates and beyond, even if my thumbs go numb.
PS: When running spell check on this post, the following words were flagged as unidentified: tv, IM, tweens, and texting.
That was before they hit the tweens. This is a relatively new term used now for children ages apx 8-12. This is the term now given for children who fall between childhood and adolescence--not quite children, but not yet teenagers. Wait a minute...when I was eight years old I was child. I pulled on my roller skates (the metal kind that fit over my shoes) and hit the driveway and the entire block of my neighborhood. When I was ten, I played jacks at recess and even managed to blow up a light socket in my classroom by gingerly dangling a metal staple in it and throwing a bouncy ball at it. (I think my teacher forgave me...after I moved on to sixth grade.) And by the time I was twelve, no one could convince me that I wasn't already a teen, except that I hadn't reached the blessed age of teen-dome (thirteen).
Now, as a parent, I have three tween daughters. Lord help me! Here is a snippet of what I read about them:
Tweens now suffer from eating disorders, are exposed to intense peer pressure, want to go places on their own, keep up with fashion and watch videos rated for older children, just as teenagers do...They have been targeted by the advertising and marketing industry as a new and distinct group to exploit, and with huge success...We give them more freedom to demand and consume material things but considerably less freedom than many of us experienced to play and explore the wider world. They are the immobile, mobile phone generation, speaking to or texting their freinds rather than going out to play or visit: they let their fingers (or thumbs) do both the walking and the talking as they key in their conversations via mobile phone and computers from the safety of their homes. We ask for more responsibility from our tween for doing well at school, but by and large, less domestic and personal responsibility at home....The "traditional" boundaries of childhood seem to be withering away. We should not be surprised, then, if our tweens do not know quite where to pitch themselves in terms of image or age, or simply how to be: whether to feel confident about what they can do, or uncertain because they are increasingly made aware of what or who they are not, or what they do not have. (as taken from the book Talking to Tweens by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer)
This author-parent is scared by that! Even more scarey is that this is happening in my own home. In the past, I have made every attempt to read good books that are on the market to help guide me in many areas of my life, not the least of which is parenting. I have relied heavily on the expertise of people like Barbara and Dennis Rainey, Dr. James Dobson, and Kevin Leman. However, with the coming of the tween era, not one of that elite group raised their own children in this techno-tween age. Sure, many of the day-to-day issues of parenting are the same as they have been for generations. How much should I make my child eat at dinner? Must I force him to eat broccoli? How do I get my child to make his bed? Should I use incentives and rewards (bribery, as some call it) or should I only expect my child to obey and then follow through with loving discipline if he chooses not to? And on and on the list goes.
However, the real issues that tweens are facing raise the stakes. Parents of tweens must not only contend with all of the aforesaid "traditional" parenting issues, but then add a whole other dimension to the mix. For starters, how do we parents effectively communicate with our tweens? Notice I did not use the word "talk." Do we talk to them? Do they talk to each other? Just two years ago my oldest was elated to get her first cell phone. I thought she'd use it to talk to her friends. Truthfully, that is a rare occurrence. More often than not, she uses it to listen to music, play games, take pictures and text.
I have long contended that texting is at the heart of the breakdown in communication with our current tweens and society at large. However, in reality it has been a slippery slope. Telephones, fax machines, e-mail, cell phones, texting, instant messages, blogging, twittering (still haven't figured that one out), and the list will surely get longer by tomorrow... Each one of these has been just another step away from serious face-to-face communication. The kind where body language and facial expression mattered more than the actual words used in a conversation. All the texting and e-mails are great for one thing, hiding the reality of a person's needs. These new ways to "talk" only drive us further and further away from truly sharing life with each other. Instead, we get a sound bite (usually no more than one sentence) and consider that good enough to last our relationship for a few more days.
So how does this factor into parenting? Well this week I caved. I bought a Blackberry Bold 3G. I added texting to our family plan. I can now officially communicate with my tweens, no matter where they are or what they are doing. I really believe I held out as long as I could. I don't like the choice I made this week, but as a parent whose children live in and must function in this current society, I need to be able to "talk" to my children, no matter the medium used. I will hold the line, though. We will still sit down at our dinner table every night together. No one will answer phones or texts during our meal. The tv will not be on. We will still meet in my bedroom every night for prayer and sharing time. I will still travel to four beds to tuck in each tween and their little brother and give each a kiss and tell each that I think they are wonderful. I will still make lunches, go on field trips, attend games and concerts, and work my fool head off to make enough money to send them on all the "character building" camps, trips, and retreats that I would like for them to enjoy.
Most of all, I will be here for them. I will hug them, love on them, cry with them, laugh with them, and walk each step of their journey with them. Undoubtedly I will call them, text them, IM them, twitter them (what is that, exactly?) and pray for them. I will share life with them all the way to the pearly gates and beyond, even if my thumbs go numb.
PS: When running spell check on this post, the following words were flagged as unidentified: tv, IM, tweens, and texting.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Meeting Place
The chair sits in my bedroom. It can best be described as a high-backed, Queen Ann chair, I think. It is burgundy with some diamondish design lightly imprinted on it. The foot rest kicks out and makes a comfy spot for my legs and feet. The always nearby pile of fleece blankets is within reach, so as I climb into the chair, I grab a blanket or two.
After adjusting the covers just so, I kick out the foot rest and my always aching back settles perfectly into the lumbar portion of the chair. On the left side of the chair stands a lamp that I bought a few years ago. The light is just right for reading. Not too bright, not too dull. While the base of the lamp is stationary, the top arm swings to perfect adjustment. I pull the arm to the exact right spot to help me read.
The floor on the right side of the chair sports a woven basket. The colors match the room in burgundy and hunter green. The basket is large. It has a handle on each end, but the basket is never moved or picked up. It is completely off limits to all other people or animals. The basket is not special. Instead, the contents of the basket are what is so important. The basket holds the printed materials for my special meetings. I have meetings every day or two, and I always need to know exactly where to find my materials.
Maybe I settle in the burgundy chair at 9:00 in the morning or 9:00 at night. Sometimes I get there at 2:43 in the afternoon. With four kiddos and a busy house, each day dictates a different meeting time, but I've learned to be flexible with the schedule. It's okay with me, and probably with my prayer partner, too.
I reach into my basket and pull out a few things. First, I get out the devotional book that I am currently using. Right now it is simply called Truth. I like it. Each day aligns what the world thinks with what God thinks. Refreshing. Next, I pull out my journal. In this, I write my deepest thoughts, fears, prayers, concerns, joys, and anything else that strikes me. Then I pull out my personal Bible. You know what I mean? The kind with a leather cover, my name inscribed on the front, with pages that turn, words that I can underline, and margins in which I can write. There will be no electronic technology used during this meeting. None. Absolutely none. My prayer partner and I don't need anything like that to communicate. He's already there waiting for me to get started.
After reading through my devotional thoughts for the day, I turn in my personal Bible to the place where I left off yesterday. Currently I'm ready about Elijah and Elisha. Quite a pair! God never ceases to amaze me with his super powers. Beats anything I've seen from Superman, that's for sure! I read in my Bible until a specific thought or detail jumps off the page to me. When it does, I find a quick stopping place and pull out my journal.
My journal is hard-backed, lined, with heavy spiral binding. I can't remember how many I've used up, but I keep them all and just keep writing. You know about writing, don't you? You hold the pen in your hand and apply pressure to make the ink come out on the page. I do this to my journal. I write all over it. I express myself on the pages. However, the pages aren't written to Dear Ann or Dear Abby. Instead, I write my journal thoughts, questions, prayers and concerns to my dear Lord. Sometimes He answers me right then. Sometimes He guides me to more reading of His Word. Sometimes, much to my chagrin, He tells me to wait. One thing I know for sure, He always has the right answer at the right time.
The best thing of all about these meetings is something quite simplistic. The more I go to my meeting spot and spend time with my prayer partner, the more things I hear Him say and the more I know that He is real in my every day life. The Counselor isn't just with me in my meetings in the burgundy chair. He goes with me from that spot to the next and the next and the next. However, I refuel in that chair. I get filled up. I take the fuel with me to make it through the next thing on the agenda. Most of the time I don't just make it through, rather, I soar through it. I've been so filled up I just fly past most of the trouble, shed it off like water from a duck's back, and move on. If I go too long without another meeting, everything starts bothering me. Nothing is easy to rid myself of. I carry burdens that aren't even real.
Thus, I try to have meetings as often as possible. These times are a necessity to me. They are my daily lifeline. They keep me sane. They keep me full. They keep me content. They keep me focused. These times grow my faith. These times grow my patience. These times grow my love. These times are necessary. I can only thank my prayer partner for all of these things. He makes my meetings worth every second and beyond.
After adjusting the covers just so, I kick out the foot rest and my always aching back settles perfectly into the lumbar portion of the chair. On the left side of the chair stands a lamp that I bought a few years ago. The light is just right for reading. Not too bright, not too dull. While the base of the lamp is stationary, the top arm swings to perfect adjustment. I pull the arm to the exact right spot to help me read.
The floor on the right side of the chair sports a woven basket. The colors match the room in burgundy and hunter green. The basket is large. It has a handle on each end, but the basket is never moved or picked up. It is completely off limits to all other people or animals. The basket is not special. Instead, the contents of the basket are what is so important. The basket holds the printed materials for my special meetings. I have meetings every day or two, and I always need to know exactly where to find my materials.
Maybe I settle in the burgundy chair at 9:00 in the morning or 9:00 at night. Sometimes I get there at 2:43 in the afternoon. With four kiddos and a busy house, each day dictates a different meeting time, but I've learned to be flexible with the schedule. It's okay with me, and probably with my prayer partner, too.
I reach into my basket and pull out a few things. First, I get out the devotional book that I am currently using. Right now it is simply called Truth. I like it. Each day aligns what the world thinks with what God thinks. Refreshing. Next, I pull out my journal. In this, I write my deepest thoughts, fears, prayers, concerns, joys, and anything else that strikes me. Then I pull out my personal Bible. You know what I mean? The kind with a leather cover, my name inscribed on the front, with pages that turn, words that I can underline, and margins in which I can write. There will be no electronic technology used during this meeting. None. Absolutely none. My prayer partner and I don't need anything like that to communicate. He's already there waiting for me to get started.
After reading through my devotional thoughts for the day, I turn in my personal Bible to the place where I left off yesterday. Currently I'm ready about Elijah and Elisha. Quite a pair! God never ceases to amaze me with his super powers. Beats anything I've seen from Superman, that's for sure! I read in my Bible until a specific thought or detail jumps off the page to me. When it does, I find a quick stopping place and pull out my journal.
My journal is hard-backed, lined, with heavy spiral binding. I can't remember how many I've used up, but I keep them all and just keep writing. You know about writing, don't you? You hold the pen in your hand and apply pressure to make the ink come out on the page. I do this to my journal. I write all over it. I express myself on the pages. However, the pages aren't written to Dear Ann or Dear Abby. Instead, I write my journal thoughts, questions, prayers and concerns to my dear Lord. Sometimes He answers me right then. Sometimes He guides me to more reading of His Word. Sometimes, much to my chagrin, He tells me to wait. One thing I know for sure, He always has the right answer at the right time.
The best thing of all about these meetings is something quite simplistic. The more I go to my meeting spot and spend time with my prayer partner, the more things I hear Him say and the more I know that He is real in my every day life. The Counselor isn't just with me in my meetings in the burgundy chair. He goes with me from that spot to the next and the next and the next. However, I refuel in that chair. I get filled up. I take the fuel with me to make it through the next thing on the agenda. Most of the time I don't just make it through, rather, I soar through it. I've been so filled up I just fly past most of the trouble, shed it off like water from a duck's back, and move on. If I go too long without another meeting, everything starts bothering me. Nothing is easy to rid myself of. I carry burdens that aren't even real.
Thus, I try to have meetings as often as possible. These times are a necessity to me. They are my daily lifeline. They keep me sane. They keep me full. They keep me content. They keep me focused. These times grow my faith. These times grow my patience. These times grow my love. These times are necessary. I can only thank my prayer partner for all of these things. He makes my meetings worth every second and beyond.
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